Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work (And What to Do Instead)

Let me guess. You're already thinking about January. What you'll change. What you'll finally do differently this year.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, there's a quiet voice asking: "Yeah, but will it actually stick this time?"

Here's what the research tells us: 80-92% of New Year's resolutions fail, with most abandoned by February or sooner.

But here's what I've learned after years of this pattern: the problem isn't you. It's the approach.

Over the years, I've set resolutions and subsequently lost motivation and abandoned them. I got curious about why traditional goal-setting doesn't work. Here's what the research shows:

Making real change requires three things most resolution approaches completely skip: vision, a sustainable system, and self-compassion.

We're inundated with messages about what we need for better lives. But what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for you.

What's missing is connection with your authentic self. You need vision about where you're trying to go before you can set meaningful goals.

Setting goals with no system to assess, adjust, or stay mindfully connected has us drift away from the plan. You need a framework that keeps your vision alive throughout the year, not just in January.

Making positive changes isn't smooth or easy. Obstacles will arise. You'll make decisions counter to your goals. If you beat yourself up, you're much more likely to give up.

Self-compassion means seeing your difficulties, recognizing this is part of being human, and bringing a caring response.

I know many people think they have to be hard on themselves and that self-compassion will keep them from being motivated. But that's not so. Self-criticism activates your inner threat system and sense of failure. Inner compassion allows you to be more persistent and lean on an internal ally rather than an internal enemy. Kristin Neff's work shows the significance of self-compassion for well-being. Learn more here.

In my own practice of this framework, I've never once beaten myself up for drifting off course. Instead, within a month I could see what was getting in the way and adjust as needed. That's what sustainable change actually looks like.

With all of this in mind, I recognized I needed a better process. I needed to be mindfully grounded with inner compassion. I needed to look at broader areas of well-being. I needed to connect to a larger vision aligned with my authentic self.

On December 31, 2019, I decided something had to change. It had been a couple of tough years. I'd lost touch with what actually mattered to me. My goals always faded by spring, leaving me frustrated and stuck.

So I tried something different.

I compassionately assessed where I was and where I needed to be. I envisioned myself living more aligned with my true self a year ahead. I set broad intentions pointing me in the right direction. I committed to a yearlong process.

For that first month, I set attainable, measurable goals relevant to my intentions. Small steps. Near month's end, I reviewed what worked and what didn't. I calibrated. I set new goals for the next month.

This process continued month after month, with deeper reviews every quarter.

I've used this process each year since. What I didn't know when I started on December 31, 2019, was that I was heading into 2020, the year the pandemic hit and the world shut down. I spent most of that year alone. But this framework actually helped me through one of my most challenging years ever. At the end of 2020, I wrote in my year-end review that this process had been empowering. It kept me focused on what mattered rather than giving up.

The framework uses nautical imagery. A ship's captain doesn't sail straight to a destination. There are calibrations throughout, tweaks based on conditions encountered. A captain doesn't leave without a plan. You must know where you are and where you're going.

Here's the basic structure:

This foundation steeped in mindfulness and inner compassion keeps you from drifting aimlessly.

Assess your satisfaction in Liveliness (physical health), Oneness (emotional health and authentic self), Togetherness (relationships), Upliftedness (meaning and purpose), and Soundness (practical stability).

Envision your future self one year ahead living with greater satisfaction and alignment. Set intentions and broad goals. Create a compassionate contract with yourself.

Set achievable monthly goals (tools like SMART goals can help make them specific and measurable). Conduct monthly reviews. Complete quarterly assessments. Keep calibrating.

When I look back at my quarterly assessments from this year, I see steady progress in three areas. Progress is often subtle and hard to recognize in the moment. But seeing growth each quarter is genuinely encouraging.

Build a resource kit to help you stay on course when challenges arise. My own beacon resources have grown over the years and continue to support me.

A year may seem long, but sustainable change happens gradually. This framework gives you a way to stay connected throughout. And it doesn't have to start January 1st. You can begin any month, any day. It's a yearlong process from whenever you choose to start.

This is The Tangible Way. Staying grounded in what's real for you, not what the internet tells you should matter. Creating a practice of checking in with yourself rather than checking your phone for the next trend. Vision Voyage is an extension of that philosophy.

I've developed Vision Voyage into a complete online course to share this framework with you. It launches January 1st, 2026. Newsletter subscribers receive early access and special discounts on December 15, 2025.

I keep all my "Vision Voyages" in a binder going back to 2019. (I didn't call it that until I created this course, but that's what it's always been). Having access to those previous years, I can see the true progress I've made over time. Each year I get closer to greater balance and well-being.

If you're tired of the resolution cycle, I'd love to share this framework with you. It's kept me connected to what matters for six years now. Maybe it can do the same for you.

This isn't just another goal-setting course. It's a compassionate, year-long framework you can use year after year.

You can start anytime. The framework works on a 12-month cycle from whenever you begin.